“Grief is like the ocean, it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”

– Vicki Harrison

20140312-IMG_5368Tomorrow marks the 4 year anniversary of my grandmothers passing. This last week I’ve really been struggling because this day weighs so heavily on my heart. So in my typical fashion I feel the need to analyze these feelings. I know that the sadness of not having my dear Myan in my life anymore hurts me daily. The desire to call her,  hear her voice and laughter, listen to her sing her enchanting french hymns as she moves through her kitchen busily cooking her delicious rice and beans and washing her dishes. I miss the feel of her skin. Even as an adult I would curl up on the couch with her and stroke her arms, her skin smooth like velvet. I want to hear her say “oh ma fille” or the occasional “oh vagabond” when I did or said something she didn’t like. I want to tell her I love her more and hear her reply in all her sweetness “I know you do”.

California 11-13-9193I have a billion and one beautiful memories, I have pictures, trinkets…feelings I hold on to. My sister and I were by her side till the very end. It was such a peaceful transition and all her prayers were answered, her heavenly father reunited her with her daughter, my mother,  she would pray for this and there’s a great sense of peace knowing they are finally together. Yet…. I.can’t.let.go.of.the.grief. They’re together NOT with me and there’s this part of me that is selfishly angry. It’s ridiculous! Really! I mean Myan was 102, I know this but my inner child that lost her mother at the age of 9 is still very angry and in my 9 year old heart God was a really cruel person and for years I felt my enemy. 35 years later and though I think I’ve moved beyond this I obviously still harbor resentment. Several times a year, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries etc I’m drawn into this dark place where I’m angry, sad, heartbroken, lonely … I feel foolish for dwelling but my heart has this strong hold on my emotions and my mind is not capable of rationalizing with it.


I had made this video for Myan because I was afraid I wouldn’t make it to California in time. Through the tears I promised her that I would tell stories of my amazing grandmother keeping her memory and love eternal. Amazing is actually an understatement, she was a living angel. She would literally give the shirt off her back to anyone in need. Her garden blossomed with her loving touch and so did her grand and great grandchildren. She had the faith to move mountains and the courage to take down whoever stood in her path. I always say she had as much spice as she did sweetness and I’m proud to say I’m just like her. She taught me everything I knew about being a mother and when I came to her at the age of 15 to tell her I was pregnant, when the world made me feel like I was making the worst decision of my life, she supported me fully and kept me well nourished so I could deliver a beautiful healthy baby boy. She was a woman of great faith, wisdom and heart. Those that new her loved her immensely some without knowing why, like my husband, who spoke the three words that every girl longs to hear to my grandmother before uttering them to me. Was I annoyed? YES! but I got it, I mean you couldn’t help but love her. People of no relation called her Mama or Grandma. When I was young I think most of the kids in the neighborhood came over not because of me but because Myan made the best freakin chocolate chip cookies ever. Truth is I could go on and on because life with Myan was simply beautiful.

As long as I live, as long as I breathe, with every beat of my heart, you will not be forgotten…. This I promise you.” – Angelo Miller

20111125-_MG_8045I decided today that maybe pouring my heart out, releasing these emotions and just holding on to the feelings of love might help me get through this, a reminder to myself that I have the greatest love story, though at the moment the huge lump of vulnerability in my throat has me questioning what I’m doing here but who knows maybe my words will help someone else feel not so alone with their own inner struggles.

So to those that have suffered the loss of a loved one and those that struggle daily with the pangs I’m sending a big hug. It may not get easier but know that you’re not alone. Ride those waves. xo Wendie



Equine Art Noire Sessions



Daimler 2008

I fell in love with photographing and creating the dark background images years before I started my business. It took all distractions away and brought focus to the details that enchant us as horse lovers. From a child the eyes have always drawn me in, captivated me. I used to think of them as the ocean, an endless depth of beauty. I saw a part of me and all that I dreamed of becoming reflected in their eyes.





” I have looked into the eyes of many animals. Each time I get a special feeling. A feeling quite different from human eye contact. It is a unique feeling. It touches my heart and affects my soul ” -Anthony Douglas Williams

During my sessions, wether there is 1 or 16, I get to learn a lot about their personalities. I love the many expressions they have, especially the silly ones, and how their individuality shines.grover-8

Then there are the magical moments. McLovin’s mother passed away last year, Jill was someone you’d never forget. She was always full of smiles and funny stories, she had such a warm kind heart. Sara had decided that she would like a session with Mac so she could hang his portrait in her home with her other favorite horse. On the day of his shoot I was taken back by how gorgeous he is. Tall.Dark.Handsome oh yeah and DREAMY. He posed like a super model. Feet firmly planted turning his neck from side to side. It was strange though, just the way he kept turning his head left. It wasn’t till I got home and started culling through the images that I noticed this light reflection in the perfect shape of a heart on the right side of his neck. It wasn’t on allmclovin-raw the images but too many to ignore. I don’t know about you but I’m a firm believer in signs from loved ones passed. So I sent Sara a text with the picture showing her my edited version but also the raw file just so she could see that I didn’t transpose this onto the image. Funny thing is she felt there was something different and that Jill had to have been there ❤ both of us in tears.


The Equine Art Noire Sessions are like a glamour shoot for your horse while creating beautiful and memorable Art for your walls. All my shoots whether it’s a portrait session with human and horse or just horse, they all touch my heart in some way or another. Through my lens I seek emotion, love and connection. This may seem crazy (because really, I don’t normally like to make people cry) but some of the biggest compliments I’m paid is knowing that happy tears were shed when my clients look at their images. I want to not only capture emotion but evoke it as well.

The path of being a Photographer and a business owner is no easy road but at the end of the day my soul is happy. I get to follow my dreams, pursue my passion and touch hearts…Life.Is.Good.

Not to mention I get to smooch, snuggle and love up on some pretty amazing animals ❤

To learn more about Aullmyn Photography and the Equine Art Noire Sessions or to book your session today email me at or fill in the contact form below   224-430-1490

Soul Awakening

Wow! My first blog post! I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time and though I love to talk, I suffer from writers block big time. However after I finished editing La Prieta’s  gallery I felt an overwhelming need to share a glimpse into my soul. This shoot was an opportunity for me to freely express my passion as a creative. I sent Luis a text message asking if I could use his beautiful horse as a model for a sunrise shoot. This meant me getting out of bed at 4:45am and anyone that knows me knows I’m really not a big morning person but when it comes to photography and horses I’m all over it! I was incredibly grateful that Luis was so willing to entertain my vision. He had given her a bath, braided her beautiful mane and La Prieta, I believe, was feeling like any woman would after being treated to a day at the spa….simply beautiful.

I arrived at Brookwood at 5:30 and was pleasantly greeted with the sound of nickering horses coming from the barn and a cup of perfectly sweetened coffee thanks to Luis. La Prieta was being affectionate towards me which quite honestly was new for us, on previous occasions I was given a bit of the cold shoulder. She has this air of elegance, striking beauty and nobility that I’m so drawn to, not to mention I have a thing for Friesians from the first time I saw Hokan Thorn riding Bold Contender in the show ring. It was still a little hazy and the sun hadn’t rose just yet but we headed down the long driveway to the pond. It was as if she was a super model, changing up her poses by a shift of the head and a look from her deep expressive eyes. She even got into it showing off her spanish walk, I was elated….fascinated!

My love for horses I believe began as a toddler when my father would ride with me bareback on his friend’s horse, Heather. Truly, he complained all through my years of riding hoping I would out grow this “phase” but to no avail, I mean it was his fault after all right?  Horses became my healers after I lost my mother at the age of 9. I remember  spending hours sitting in my horse’s stall watching her eat, talking, sometimes crying and she’d nuzzle my head and face gently comforting me. Going to the barn was my therapy session, they couldn’t get me talk about my mother in the school counselors office, I was angry, withdrawn and hurting but the horses made all those feelings vanish. You see for me it’s never been about the sport, I’m not a  competitive person … nor athletic, it’s always been about the animals…they soothe my soul.LP-26

As the sun began to show its glorious light we headed to the paddock where I could photograph her unbridled beauty. I got myself into position while Luis set her free. She floated across the paddock like a dancer, creating music with the earth as her hooves covered ground and  I watched as the golden light filled the steam coming from her nostrils.    She.Was.Breathtaking.    I was simply mesmerized, captivated….enchanted by her beauty.



“The essential joy of being with horses is that it brings us in contact with the rare elements of grace, beauty, spirit, and fire.” ~Sharon Ralls Lemon


This session was an opportunity for me to shoot for myself, what I call soulspiration. Filled with sun flares, blurred images, and dark silhouettes. Each image being my canvas that I poured my artistic vision into allowing me to let go and just absorb myself in that moment. Truth is I dreaded finishing the gallery because for days now I’ve found myself immersed in it. A dream world.


Being a photographer, it can be a real challenge to find your voice in the industry. Often I find myself getting caught up in my own insecurities. Am I good enough? Do people like my work? Will I fail? and so much more. I find I’m ever changing, always growing and forever learning new things.. especially about myself. During this session I had a soul awakening. I realized that in pursuing my dreams, combining my passions and sharing my story that I have found my voice. What I lack in words I emote through images, each one carrying a piece of my heart with it.

Yours truly,

Wendie E. Aull

Aullmyn Photography


“A horse is the projection of peoples’ dreams about themselves – strong, powerful, beautiful – and it has the capability of giving us escape from our mundane existence.” ~Pam Brown


A very special thank you to Luis and La Prieta for such a beautiful morning and for giving me the opportunity to express myself through my lens.

An unspoken moment of love and gratitude between us. Photo Credit and many thanks to Luis for capturing this moment.



Please feel free to contact  Aullmyn Photography, We’d love to hear from you!!